Dad's not looking so good either. He's been slumped in a chair for hours, just staring out the window. He finished cleaning the blood off the carpet earlier. I suppose I should tell you what happened.
My Mum went upstairs early last night. She said she wanted to get some reading done before bed. I was in my room at the time, but I heard them come up the stairs so I went and said goodnight, and that was the last I saw of her. Apparently she was asleep by the time my Dad went to bed.
He was woken up at around ten to four with Mum hitting him. She was coughing really badly, like she couldn't breathe, and then she started coughing up blood as well, so he knew something was really wrong. He helped her to the bathroom so she could lean over the toilet while he phoned the ambulance, then he wrote me that note, and went back to hold her hand. He told me she looked so scared, like she was afraid of him leaving.
Ten minutes later, the ambulance had arrived. They carried her out, and my Dad stayed with her in the back while the paramedics did their best. By the time they arrived at the hospital, she was nearly gone. She was dead within the next twenty minutes.
I'm going to try and get my Dad to eat something. Neither of us have been able to eat. I've been forcing myself to drink water, because I know what'll happen if I don't. I made up a big jug of water earlier, and I put lemon slices in it to keep it fresh. Ever since Dad sat down, I've been refilling his glass every-so-often. I'll make rice. There's some basmati in the cupboard. Hopefully the smell will stimulate our appetites.
B texted me earlier, asking why I wasn't at college and if I was alright. I said I'd talk to them when I get back. I keep crying. It was so sudden. There wasn't any warning. Dad said the Doctors told him they thought it was a pulimonry embolism or something like that. Whatever it was, apparently it's a (tiny) risk when people are forced to stay off their feet.
I feel like this is just a bad dream, but I know it's not. I just can't believe she's gone so suddenly. The whole world's changed, just overnight. It's not good.
Friday, 7 October 2011
She's gone.
It can't be real.
I woke up at my six this morning for my run, but there was a note from my Dad on the inside of my door. It said that he'd had to take Mum to the hospital and not to worry. He'd try to phone me around half six. When I opened my door I noticed bloodstains on the carpet, here and there, mostly between my parents room and the bathroom, but some leading down the stairs as well. There was some on the walls too. I tried not to think about it while I was having breakfast. I was alone in the house. I didn't even notice that Liam wasn't there. Usually my parents would be sleeping upstairs, but they weren't there.
I tried waiting for the phone to ring, but I couldn't settle so I decided to start washing some of the blood stains out the carpet. It wasn't completely dry yet, so it came off quite easily. It was all mucusy, as well. I thought - I don't know. I didn't know. Oh no. Please no.
When the phone rang, I stared at it for a second before I picked it up. It was my Dad. He sounded shaken. He wasn't feeling right. He asked me if I was okay and I said I was. It was surreal. He told me to get the bus to the hospital and bring some change so he could get back too. I asked him what happened, and he said he'd talk to me when I got there. I asked him if Mum was alright. He refused to answer the question. There were a couple of false starts but eventually he just repeated what he said before. I think I knew then. I think I knew. Something bad. Really really bad. NO!
I have an mp3 player now. I bought it a few days ago. It's got my music on it. It played The War Of The Worlds. I stayed in a trance. Everything was so surreal. Martians walking around the city streets, burning people with the heat ray. I wasn't even listening to what was playing. I just stared at the destruction outside the bus windows. Nobody inside made a sound. They just got on and got off wherever they needed to be, running along through the panicked crowds. Sometimes I felt my eyes water, but the tears never released.
By the time I got to the hospital, the Martians had all but disappeared. There was one near the horizon, walking away. And I met my Dad inside. He told me what happened.
I'll tell you later. I think I need to go now. It's not - It's - I can't deal with this. She's gone and I can't get her back. She's gone. No! I want my Mum. I want my Mum. I want my Mum. She can't be gone! I need her to be here. I can't hold on any longer. I have to go.
I woke up at my six this morning for my run, but there was a note from my Dad on the inside of my door. It said that he'd had to take Mum to the hospital and not to worry. He'd try to phone me around half six. When I opened my door I noticed bloodstains on the carpet, here and there, mostly between my parents room and the bathroom, but some leading down the stairs as well. There was some on the walls too. I tried not to think about it while I was having breakfast. I was alone in the house. I didn't even notice that Liam wasn't there. Usually my parents would be sleeping upstairs, but they weren't there.
I tried waiting for the phone to ring, but I couldn't settle so I decided to start washing some of the blood stains out the carpet. It wasn't completely dry yet, so it came off quite easily. It was all mucusy, as well. I thought - I don't know. I didn't know. Oh no. Please no.
When the phone rang, I stared at it for a second before I picked it up. It was my Dad. He sounded shaken. He wasn't feeling right. He asked me if I was okay and I said I was. It was surreal. He told me to get the bus to the hospital and bring some change so he could get back too. I asked him what happened, and he said he'd talk to me when I got there. I asked him if Mum was alright. He refused to answer the question. There were a couple of false starts but eventually he just repeated what he said before. I think I knew then. I think I knew. Something bad. Really really bad. NO!
I have an mp3 player now. I bought it a few days ago. It's got my music on it. It played The War Of The Worlds. I stayed in a trance. Everything was so surreal. Martians walking around the city streets, burning people with the heat ray. I wasn't even listening to what was playing. I just stared at the destruction outside the bus windows. Nobody inside made a sound. They just got on and got off wherever they needed to be, running along through the panicked crowds. Sometimes I felt my eyes water, but the tears never released.
By the time I got to the hospital, the Martians had all but disappeared. There was one near the horizon, walking away. And I met my Dad inside. He told me what happened.
I'll tell you later. I think I need to go now. It's not - It's - I can't deal with this. She's gone and I can't get her back. She's gone. No! I want my Mum. I want my Mum. I want my Mum. She can't be gone! I need her to be here. I can't hold on any longer. I have to go.
Thursday, 6 October 2011
I don't like the sound of this.
A boy went missing today. Well, I say a boy. They showed a picture of him on the news. He's sixteen, but he looks more like a nineteen-year-old. I don't know him, but I think my Mum might. As soon as his name was mentioned she gasped. Dad was cooking dinner at the time, though, so I'm the only one who heard it.
They said he was last seen in the area where my Mum works, but when I asked her if she knew him she said no. The look on her face said differently, though. I don't know why she would be trying to hide this. Maybe she's trying to protect us. They said that if anyone sees him they should approach with caution (and let the police know, of course).
It's a shame, she was beginning to brighten up, despite her cough getting worse (it's definitely hit her chest now, and she's started coughing up small amounts of catarrh).
I've not told Dad about my hunch - if Mum really does know the boy, then I'm sure she's got a good reason for denying it. Pete agrees with me, Susan doesn't. She said "She's obviously keeping secrets from us, you should just go and get the truth and not back down until you've got it.". She's been a bit stroppy lately, ever since we fell out, and I think she's trying to make me ruin myself again. It's not going to happen. Any time we've fallen out it's always been the same. She goes in a huff, mostly disappears for a week or two, then starts coming back every few days, trying to force me into saying/doing things I would regret, and eventually she calms down and lets me get on with things again. It's annoying, to say the least, and I wish she would just grow up. She'll never grow up though. Even if she keeps on getting older, she'll still represent that part of myself, long ago, that I've grown to despise.
Anyway, goodnight everyone. I've got a write-up due for tomorrow, and I'm not even a third the way through it.
They said he was last seen in the area where my Mum works, but when I asked her if she knew him she said no. The look on her face said differently, though. I don't know why she would be trying to hide this. Maybe she's trying to protect us. They said that if anyone sees him they should approach with caution (and let the police know, of course).
It's a shame, she was beginning to brighten up, despite her cough getting worse (it's definitely hit her chest now, and she's started coughing up small amounts of catarrh).
I've not told Dad about my hunch - if Mum really does know the boy, then I'm sure she's got a good reason for denying it. Pete agrees with me, Susan doesn't. She said "She's obviously keeping secrets from us, you should just go and get the truth and not back down until you've got it.". She's been a bit stroppy lately, ever since we fell out, and I think she's trying to make me ruin myself again. It's not going to happen. Any time we've fallen out it's always been the same. She goes in a huff, mostly disappears for a week or two, then starts coming back every few days, trying to force me into saying/doing things I would regret, and eventually she calms down and lets me get on with things again. It's annoying, to say the least, and I wish she would just grow up. She'll never grow up though. Even if she keeps on getting older, she'll still represent that part of myself, long ago, that I've grown to despise.
Anyway, goodnight everyone. I've got a write-up due for tomorrow, and I'm not even a third the way through it.
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
My Mum's Birthday: Over-indulging, over-shooting, now over a footstool.
I mentioned very late last night (or possibly mid-afternoon for you) on someone else's blog that I'd just got back from the hospital. And you may remember that I was going out for my Mum's birthday.
Well, we went to the buffet, and I ate loads (but not as much as I was expecting, stupid ice cream filling me up!), and my parents laughed at the rate I was devouring the food (two full plates in ten minutes, I'll admit it's not my record). After my third plate my Dad advised me to switch to desserts so I didn't get bored, and THAT ICECREAM! I WILL MURDER IT IF I EVER SEE IT AGAIN! RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! (How is it that ice cream is only ever filling when there's free refills?)
Anyway, after dinner, we were walking back to the car when my Mum slipped on the stairs and landed awkwardly on her ankle. She couldn't put any weight on it without yelping so we had to carry her back to the car (luckily it wasn't far). Dad drove us to the E&A and we were waiting for over an hour to be seen. The Doctor looked at it, prodded it, and then took an x-ray of it. It wasn't broken, thank goodness, but she had done a bit of damage to the ligaments. The Doctor said to take the week off work, and if it was still very painful by Friday she should go to the GP. Meanwhile, she should give it as much rest as possible, try to keep it elevated [I had to stop myself giggling at the word "elevate"], "and if it swells up you should wrap it in a bag of frozen peas" (yes, those really were her exact words).
So we got back at an insanely late hour and I nearly slept in for the bus this morning. Needless to say I'm a little fatigued. My Mum's quite fatigued too, but then that cold she has seems to be moving towards her chest. At least she won't have to take time off seperately if it does move down.
I had a bit of a run after I got home today, since I missed it this morning. I found a tree with a low branch so I tried some of those - oh, what are they called? - things where you grab onto a bar and lift yourself up then drop down again. I was a bit rubbish, but I think it's just the thing to increase my upper-body strength. It was raining, but I don't mind the rain. I've got a good coat, and I love being outdoors. It's a shame we won't be going hillwalking this weekend, but I've heard it's supposed to snow on Friday, so maybe we wouldn't be going out anyway. It's weird, last week it was a heatwave in September, now it's snow in October. What is the climate coming to?
Well, we went to the buffet, and I ate loads (but not as much as I was expecting, stupid ice cream filling me up!), and my parents laughed at the rate I was devouring the food (two full plates in ten minutes, I'll admit it's not my record). After my third plate my Dad advised me to switch to desserts so I didn't get bored, and THAT ICECREAM! I WILL MURDER IT IF I EVER SEE IT AGAIN! RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! (How is it that ice cream is only ever filling when there's free refills?)
Anyway, after dinner, we were walking back to the car when my Mum slipped on the stairs and landed awkwardly on her ankle. She couldn't put any weight on it without yelping so we had to carry her back to the car (luckily it wasn't far). Dad drove us to the E&A and we were waiting for over an hour to be seen. The Doctor looked at it, prodded it, and then took an x-ray of it. It wasn't broken, thank goodness, but she had done a bit of damage to the ligaments. The Doctor said to take the week off work, and if it was still very painful by Friday she should go to the GP. Meanwhile, she should give it as much rest as possible, try to keep it elevated [I had to stop myself giggling at the word "elevate"], "and if it swells up you should wrap it in a bag of frozen peas" (yes, those really were her exact words).
So we got back at an insanely late hour and I nearly slept in for the bus this morning. Needless to say I'm a little fatigued. My Mum's quite fatigued too, but then that cold she has seems to be moving towards her chest. At least she won't have to take time off seperately if it does move down.
I had a bit of a run after I got home today, since I missed it this morning. I found a tree with a low branch so I tried some of those - oh, what are they called? - things where you grab onto a bar and lift yourself up then drop down again. I was a bit rubbish, but I think it's just the thing to increase my upper-body strength. It was raining, but I don't mind the rain. I've got a good coat, and I love being outdoors. It's a shame we won't be going hillwalking this weekend, but I've heard it's supposed to snow on Friday, so maybe we wouldn't be going out anyway. It's weird, last week it was a heatwave in September, now it's snow in October. What is the climate coming to?
Monday, 3 October 2011
An Awful Lot of Running
In case you don't know the song, here's the official video:
I had to run for my bus this morning. Well, to be more precise, I had to sprint after it for over 300m until it stopped. Soon enough, that song was playing in my head. [It could have been worse, at least it's a decent song (which is now officially my favourite!).]
Since then, though, my metabolism has been acting weird. I could eat until my stomach hurts, and twenty minutes later I'll be starving again. It's like I'm just burning through the energy faster than I can take it in. I've been getting hunger pangs all day and I'm not as tired as I should be just now (it's after 9 o'clock and I got up at 5 this morning).
My mum's theory is that I burnt all my carbs (heehee, carb rhymes with Barb!) in a very short space of time, so now my body thinks I've got a very active lifestyle. I weighed myself earlier and I'd dropped two pounds. I don't know where they went! But anyway, my mum says it should slow down over the rest of the week, and if it's not gotten any better in a few days Dad can take me to the doctor's.
In other news, it's my Mum's birthday tomorrow. We're going to a chinese buffet, which I think is quite fortunate timing given my current situation. And what's more, I love chinese food. So instead of just one stomach-ful, I can have two! (or three, even, depending on how fast I eat in comparison to my parents)
It'll just be us three, though. My parents were both only children, and my granny (the only grandparent I have left) lives on the other side of the country. She's sent a card, though. We'll find out what's in it tomorrow.
There was something else ... oh yes! The song gave me an idea. Luckily I know how to stretch, so I'm not feeling too achy. Did I mention I used to be super-fit? I reckon on the days when I don't have an early morning class, I could get up at half-six and go for a run after "first breakfast" (yes, from now on I shall be a Hobbit). But I've also realised my upper-body strength isn't very impressive (I tried to climb a tree yesterday - that failed), so I figure if I get up at half-five, I could have a small breakfast, do some press-ups/sit-ups, then go for a run, and be back in time for a bigger breakfast around quarter-to-seven.
I reckon this change will be good for me. I'll be fitter, have better energy levels, and I'll get to live like a Hobbit (the only thing missing is a house in the ground and the occasional giant visitor). And then if I have to run for the bus again, I won't feel like I've just thrown up several times.
I had to run for my bus this morning. Well, to be more precise, I had to sprint after it for over 300m until it stopped. Soon enough, that song was playing in my head. [It could have been worse, at least it's a decent song (which is now officially my favourite!).]
Since then, though, my metabolism has been acting weird. I could eat until my stomach hurts, and twenty minutes later I'll be starving again. It's like I'm just burning through the energy faster than I can take it in. I've been getting hunger pangs all day and I'm not as tired as I should be just now (it's after 9 o'clock and I got up at 5 this morning).
My mum's theory is that I burnt all my carbs (heehee, carb rhymes with Barb!) in a very short space of time, so now my body thinks I've got a very active lifestyle. I weighed myself earlier and I'd dropped two pounds. I don't know where they went! But anyway, my mum says it should slow down over the rest of the week, and if it's not gotten any better in a few days Dad can take me to the doctor's.
In other news, it's my Mum's birthday tomorrow. We're going to a chinese buffet, which I think is quite fortunate timing given my current situation. And what's more, I love chinese food. So instead of just one stomach-ful, I can have two! (or three, even, depending on how fast I eat in comparison to my parents)
It'll just be us three, though. My parents were both only children, and my granny (the only grandparent I have left) lives on the other side of the country. She's sent a card, though. We'll find out what's in it tomorrow.
There was something else ... oh yes! The song gave me an idea. Luckily I know how to stretch, so I'm not feeling too achy. Did I mention I used to be super-fit? I reckon on the days when I don't have an early morning class, I could get up at half-six and go for a run after "first breakfast" (yes, from now on I shall be a Hobbit). But I've also realised my upper-body strength isn't very impressive (I tried to climb a tree yesterday - that failed), so I figure if I get up at half-five, I could have a small breakfast, do some press-ups/sit-ups, then go for a run, and be back in time for a bigger breakfast around quarter-to-seven.
I reckon this change will be good for me. I'll be fitter, have better energy levels, and I'll get to live like a Hobbit (the only thing missing is a house in the ground and the occasional giant visitor). And then if I have to run for the bus again, I won't feel like I've just thrown up several times.
Saturday, 1 October 2011
Finally, some free time!
I'll try to make this as short as I can. I'm a little busy at the moment. It'll probably be difficult, since a lot has happened since my last post.
When I last posted, I was looking forward to going out with my friends. Well, I'll be frank. I loved it. It was brilliant! The music was far too loud, and probably damaged my hearing permanently, but it felt almost like I was a part of it, you know? I don't know. It's getting pretty late again. I'm sorry if I go all hyper-crazy on you all again. I'll try to keep a lid on it.
It was me, A, B and C at the club. C's joined our group now. I don't see him as much as A sees him, or as much as I see A and B, but we often have lunch all together. I think I said before that he always wears the best t-shirts? He has so many, it's unbelievable. And they're always funny, or they make a reference to comic-book culture, and he's quite funny too. He likes Doctor Who almost as much as I do, so we're always talking about it (while A and B look on amusedly).
So anyway, this was an under-eighteens event for peeps in the alternative world. I really liked a lot of the songs that they played, and my friends suggested I look some of them up on youtube. Funny, I've never really used youtube for looking up songs before. But anyway, B decided to lend me "In Silico" by Pendulum. She said it's not one of her favourites, but I love it! It blends so many styles together so beautifully! It's like a piece of "classical" music! (B said the genre's called drum and bass, I don't really see why, but I'll try and look out for more stuff like that.)
And C lent me his Chameleon Circuit albums! I've not had a proper listen to them yet (I'll explain the business soon, don't worry!), but so far I love them too! I knew of their existence (I do like watching certain vloggers, even if I don't have an account to subscribe to them with), but my parents don't buy things online, even if they are the coolest things in existence.
I was pretty tired after all the dancing, but it took me a good two hours to get to sleep. I'd tried this energy drink called Relentless. At first I thought it was very sour, but then I got used to the taste and oh my gosh I'm getting cravings right now for that delicious drink. I slept in late on sunday. To tire me out, we decided to go hill-walking (all of us). Even Liam came along. (He got tired though, so then Pete came and carried him back home. Pete's sweet. And he can get to places quicker than anybody else, and he can walk for miles, even longer than I can, and that's saying something!) It was quite windy, and halfway up we saw a young but decrepit-looking ash tree that made sheep noises whenever it moved. Mum really liked the walk, so we're going out tomorrow as well.
But back to the club! (Not the future, as tempting as it may sound.) Afterwards my throat was pretty parched, and my hearing was kind of destroyed, so all of us sounded like we were on helium.
Oh, why I was busy! I had a test last week, and I had to finish an English essay to hand in, and I have three more next week. I think I've done enough studying though. I might have a look over my notes before I go in, just to refresh myself. It's weird, doing tests. You have to stay very quiet so you don't distract anyone, and when you're done you have to just sit still and doodle. I doodled a dragon eating a sandwich. And then I drew the same dragon making toast by holding the bread on a broadsword and blasting it with flame. Then I drew it clutching a burnt slice of toast looking very sad. I showed it to A and she laughed and said I really was crazy. She was joking, or at least poking fun rather than criticising me. Of course that wouldn't be a proper joke, because it's true, and if somebody is joking about something they are saying something that is obviously untrue. I think. My head's getting muddled.
I think that's everything I wanted to say. Oh, but I wanted to say sorry, you guys, for not being there when all that stuff was happening to you last week. Not that I think it would have made a huge difference to you, but I don't like that I wasn't there to be worried about my (friends?), to show that I care about you. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too sentimental, or paranoid, or delusional. I don't know. All I know is that I do care about the people I see out there, and I don't want any harm to come to any of you. But then again, I've been mistaken in the past. I used to hate everyone. I thought nobody was worthy of happiness or even the ability to breath. But now, I don't think I could hurt anyone. I care about everyone, and I understand where peoples misconceptions and fears stem from. Maybe I should write an essay about it. Maybe that would get it out of my system. Man, my head is buzzing with ideas and concepts. I think I'll stop now. I don't want to lose all my inhibition, like what happens when I'm tired.
Goodnight everyone. (I tried to fix my spelling mistakes while I was typing, but I'm sorry if any made it through. I can't be bothered going through the whole post.)
When I last posted, I was looking forward to going out with my friends. Well, I'll be frank. I loved it. It was brilliant! The music was far too loud, and probably damaged my hearing permanently, but it felt almost like I was a part of it, you know? I don't know. It's getting pretty late again. I'm sorry if I go all hyper-crazy on you all again. I'll try to keep a lid on it.
It was me, A, B and C at the club. C's joined our group now. I don't see him as much as A sees him, or as much as I see A and B, but we often have lunch all together. I think I said before that he always wears the best t-shirts? He has so many, it's unbelievable. And they're always funny, or they make a reference to comic-book culture, and he's quite funny too. He likes Doctor Who almost as much as I do, so we're always talking about it (while A and B look on amusedly).
So anyway, this was an under-eighteens event for peeps in the alternative world. I really liked a lot of the songs that they played, and my friends suggested I look some of them up on youtube. Funny, I've never really used youtube for looking up songs before. But anyway, B decided to lend me "In Silico" by Pendulum. She said it's not one of her favourites, but I love it! It blends so many styles together so beautifully! It's like a piece of "classical" music! (B said the genre's called drum and bass, I don't really see why, but I'll try and look out for more stuff like that.)
And C lent me his Chameleon Circuit albums! I've not had a proper listen to them yet (I'll explain the business soon, don't worry!), but so far I love them too! I knew of their existence (I do like watching certain vloggers, even if I don't have an account to subscribe to them with), but my parents don't buy things online, even if they are the coolest things in existence.
I was pretty tired after all the dancing, but it took me a good two hours to get to sleep. I'd tried this energy drink called Relentless. At first I thought it was very sour, but then I got used to the taste and oh my gosh I'm getting cravings right now for that delicious drink. I slept in late on sunday. To tire me out, we decided to go hill-walking (all of us). Even Liam came along. (He got tired though, so then Pete came and carried him back home. Pete's sweet. And he can get to places quicker than anybody else, and he can walk for miles, even longer than I can, and that's saying something!) It was quite windy, and halfway up we saw a young but decrepit-looking ash tree that made sheep noises whenever it moved. Mum really liked the walk, so we're going out tomorrow as well.
But back to the club! (Not the future, as tempting as it may sound.) Afterwards my throat was pretty parched, and my hearing was kind of destroyed, so all of us sounded like we were on helium.
Oh, why I was busy! I had a test last week, and I had to finish an English essay to hand in, and I have three more next week. I think I've done enough studying though. I might have a look over my notes before I go in, just to refresh myself. It's weird, doing tests. You have to stay very quiet so you don't distract anyone, and when you're done you have to just sit still and doodle. I doodled a dragon eating a sandwich. And then I drew the same dragon making toast by holding the bread on a broadsword and blasting it with flame. Then I drew it clutching a burnt slice of toast looking very sad. I showed it to A and she laughed and said I really was crazy. She was joking, or at least poking fun rather than criticising me. Of course that wouldn't be a proper joke, because it's true, and if somebody is joking about something they are saying something that is obviously untrue. I think. My head's getting muddled.
I think that's everything I wanted to say. Oh, but I wanted to say sorry, you guys, for not being there when all that stuff was happening to you last week. Not that I think it would have made a huge difference to you, but I don't like that I wasn't there to be worried about my (friends?), to show that I care about you. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too sentimental, or paranoid, or delusional. I don't know. All I know is that I do care about the people I see out there, and I don't want any harm to come to any of you. But then again, I've been mistaken in the past. I used to hate everyone. I thought nobody was worthy of happiness or even the ability to breath. But now, I don't think I could hurt anyone. I care about everyone, and I understand where peoples misconceptions and fears stem from. Maybe I should write an essay about it. Maybe that would get it out of my system. Man, my head is buzzing with ideas and concepts. I think I'll stop now. I don't want to lose all my inhibition, like what happens when I'm tired.
Goodnight everyone. (I tried to fix my spelling mistakes while I was typing, but I'm sorry if any made it through. I can't be bothered going through the whole post.)
Thursday, 22 September 2011
Just a little update,
which was supposed to be written last night, but the internet decided to fail again. It seems to happen mostly when the wind picks up, and there's been a lot of wind recently.
But anyway, after a bit of nagging and emotional bribery (not blackmail this time - I'm getting better), my parents have allowed me to go clubbing on saturday - yippee! My Dad's going to give me a lift into town and get some shopping once I've met my friends. I'll have to watch Doctor Who on i-player. We would record it, but the recorder's been acting weird ever since the switch-over, and we're not buying a new one because my parents prefer to save as much money as possible. (Honestly, are they expecting a meteor to hit the house?)
I've listened to Invaders Must Die now. I enjoyed listening to it, but it's not made it onto my favourites yet. I danced with Pete some of the time; he likes it too, but a little less than I do. Susan didn't enjoy it at all, and Liam ran for the hills as soon as the guitar came in on the first track. Poor thing, I could hear him trying to bury himself under his blanket.
I think I'll treat it like I do my small collection of classical music. It's nice background music, but I won't miss it if it isn't played for a while.
Something funny happened in English today. We were working on our folio pieces when the door opened and a green parakeet flew in. It flew around the classroom a couple of times, stole a hat that I didn't even know I was wearing, and flew out again, the door slamming shut behind it. I've not told anyone about it (except for you guys), and I usually keep these things to myself, but I realised this blog was portraying a picture of me with very regular characters as my hallucinations. That's not the truth. Yeah, Pete hangs out with me on a mostly daily basis, and Susan is pretty hard to get rid of (especially since she's started appearing more often), and Liam's pretty much a constant, but there are a lot of hallucinations that I don't talk about. Some of them hang out with me for a few days then leave. Some of them only last a few seconds, like that parakeet earlier. Some of them are more permanent, but don't stay long when they do appear (Brainy Smurf is the most common of these, and by far the most annoying).
Nowadays I can usually tell if something's real or not by looking at the people around me and judging by their reactions if they can see it too. Sometimes it's more difficult, though. If nobody's there, or if they're distracted by something else, then I have to judge it by circumstance. Luckily this has never happened to me, but one of my biggest fears is that I'll start talking to someone in public, and everybody else sees me talking to thin air.
Anyway, I don't know how this post got so long, but if I don't stop now I'll keep on rambling. Ciao for now, dudes!
But anyway, after a bit of nagging and emotional bribery (not blackmail this time - I'm getting better), my parents have allowed me to go clubbing on saturday - yippee! My Dad's going to give me a lift into town and get some shopping once I've met my friends. I'll have to watch Doctor Who on i-player. We would record it, but the recorder's been acting weird ever since the switch-over, and we're not buying a new one because my parents prefer to save as much money as possible. (Honestly, are they expecting a meteor to hit the house?)
I've listened to Invaders Must Die now. I enjoyed listening to it, but it's not made it onto my favourites yet. I danced with Pete some of the time; he likes it too, but a little less than I do. Susan didn't enjoy it at all, and Liam ran for the hills as soon as the guitar came in on the first track. Poor thing, I could hear him trying to bury himself under his blanket.
I think I'll treat it like I do my small collection of classical music. It's nice background music, but I won't miss it if it isn't played for a while.
Something funny happened in English today. We were working on our folio pieces when the door opened and a green parakeet flew in. It flew around the classroom a couple of times, stole a hat that I didn't even know I was wearing, and flew out again, the door slamming shut behind it. I've not told anyone about it (except for you guys), and I usually keep these things to myself, but I realised this blog was portraying a picture of me with very regular characters as my hallucinations. That's not the truth. Yeah, Pete hangs out with me on a mostly daily basis, and Susan is pretty hard to get rid of (especially since she's started appearing more often), and Liam's pretty much a constant, but there are a lot of hallucinations that I don't talk about. Some of them hang out with me for a few days then leave. Some of them only last a few seconds, like that parakeet earlier. Some of them are more permanent, but don't stay long when they do appear (Brainy Smurf is the most common of these, and by far the most annoying).
Nowadays I can usually tell if something's real or not by looking at the people around me and judging by their reactions if they can see it too. Sometimes it's more difficult, though. If nobody's there, or if they're distracted by something else, then I have to judge it by circumstance. Luckily this has never happened to me, but one of my biggest fears is that I'll start talking to someone in public, and everybody else sees me talking to thin air.
Anyway, I don't know how this post got so long, but if I don't stop now I'll keep on rambling. Ciao for now, dudes!
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