Dad now has a job. The catch is, it's my old job. It was a long and complicated conversation, and we both raised our voices at times, but the end result was I quit and he agreed to give Dad an interview in the afternoon. Ah, the miracle of the guilt-trip. The human sense of honour is a funny thing, don't you think? Anyway, I'd better go, my laptop's lagging and I don't want this to take forever.
Edit: Since I'm not earning anymore, I'm going to be enabling that adsense thingy Google has. I figure I may as well try and make some money any way I can. I hope none of you mind. If it causes any major problems then I'll disable it again.
Honor really is bizzare, eh? As long as you're okay with how that worked out.
ReplyDeleteAre you feeling any better today?
Yeah, I'm feeling a little better. The way I see it, why stress about something if there's no way you can change what's coming? Whatever happens I'm just going to have to live (or not) with it. It's not like I'm not used to being frequently harassed or terrifying monsters looming out of the darkness. It's happened before and I dealt with it then, so why not now? Even if it's hopeless, then that means there's nothing I can do. I'll just have to try and make the best decisions I can at the time and hope nobody else gets hurt because of them.
ReplyDeleteAnd no job means I'll have more time for college work or hanging out on here. It'll keep Dad busy too, which is something he really needs.
I admire your resolve. That's a good outlook, honestly, with all the shit that's a-flyin'.
ReplyDeleteI'm terrible with dream symbols, or I'd try to figure out those roses for you.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to hurt people to be with us, you know.
@Ryan: That's what the blue guy said to me today. (I'll post about it tomorrow, I'm up too late as it is.) But doing anything to help him would be allowing him to hurt others. I'm not going to be a part of this if I can help it.
ReplyDelete@Lucia: I'm just sick of all the uncertainty and the fear and the hurt that it's causing, not just me, everyone. I've been battered and taunted enough to know that stone-cold determination can get you through situations where stressing would just get you panicked. I just have to stick to my guns and try to numb the pain. If it doesn't work, then what's the point of worrying anyway. If there's no hope, then it really doesn't matter what I do anyway. If there is a way out, it's not going to come to me if I just sit there panicking. Just have to stick to my guns. Stick to my guns. See?
Stick to your guns....you know, that sounds like what we'd say in our old band. We'd always say "stick to your options" when times got tough. I never knew what it really meant, but it worked then. I trust then, it'll work out just fine for you now!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what the "guns" bit refers to. Maybe it's about sticking to you're own tools, or about making sure you've got you're fallback or fail-safe options. But regardless of etymology, I can't let this phase me. I can't let it change me. Or at least, my core values have to stay the same. If I lose my soul, I've lost the battle. That's what I keep saying to myself. Heh, my self. I suppose that's really what's at stake. If I can keep my self intact, or at least not shattered, then ... then Dad called me down for supper and I can't remember what I was going to say.
ReplyDelete*looks at comment* Whoah, I really am on a ramble tonight, amn't I?