Friday, 21 October 2011

The Results of a Lot of Thinking

I've been running today. I needed to get things sorted out in my head.

I didn't sleep very well last night. I suppose that's to be expected with having a late-afternoon nap, though.

Oh look, I'm already making light of the situation. How droll. (not)

All this time, I was reading these blogs, keeping up with events hundreds of miles away, and now I find out he's been here all along. How could I have been so blind? Looking back, there were signs. Stress, well, the stress could have been anything. But she was afraid to go into the woods. She knew. Why didn't I notice?

And what happens now?  What has been happening? I was sure of myself. I was finally managing to figure out what the world was like. Now I realise how very far out of the loop I was - still am.

-Calm yourself, Barb. Melodramatic imagery won't get you anywhere closer to understanding what on earth is happening.-

I know what I'll do, I'll ask future-Barb. (Something I do when I'm stressed about something that I can't possibly know the answer to is to write it down for my future self to answer when she finds out.)

Right then. Questions for future-Barb:
  • How did my mother discover Mr. Tall?
  • Was she being followed?
  • Was her death natural causes, or was she murdered?
  • Why would she draw an operator symbol at the back of her diary?
  • Am I being watched?
  • Has he been watching me ever since I was a child?
  • Is it all my fault?
Okay, that should be enough for now. I'll try and concentrate on other things and leave the questions on my left hand, so-to-speak.

I just hope I can keep this all from Dad. He's already a little suspiscious, so I can't let on that anything's the matter.

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